this is so beautifully written about such a universal queer experience while still being so deeply personal. the privilege of choice is so lucky and important, but there is still an element of illusion to it. some of us have the privilege to choose where we live, but even then its not a free for all, we still have to think so much about if we'll be safe in the place we end up. works like this makes sure that queer experiences are well documented and not erased like in the past, great work <3
aw thanks zander for taking the time to read, digest, and share your thoughts -- no you are 100% correct. none of us are free until all of us are free, and this goes beyond discussions on queerness as well.
I’m from Malaysia and I get what you mean, Esje. This country is so conservative and it’s controlled by anti-queer folks. I mean this sincerely, I’m glad you chose Bangkok.
I don’t find you odd (queer) at all. I’m certain my brother would love your Substack, but sadly, he’s lost himself once again in another love of his life.
I deeply resonate on this🥹. I am a closeted queer. But I deeply resonate on being in the privilege side. I have been raised well, I havent experience intensive bullying because of my feminine behavior, I have many friends and support system, I am able to pursue my dream degree program, etc. But as you said, I have not have it easier. I sometimes fantasize of a life freed from shame. To be able to say to my parents and loved ones who I really am. I do experience grief but my queerness also helps me to become innovative and strive for a life more than what my community sets for my identity. To be able to go far away, to a place that can accept who I am…
ah this breaks my heart but i’m glad to hear you have pockets of joy that are yours. there’s so many layers of complexity to the queer experience and being able to live your true, out self — so i wouldnt want to tell you what to do, but i hope you continue to find areas that bring you much comfort and allow you to experience life the way you want to 🥹 thank you as well for your kind words!
Randomly came across this piece and when i saw the profile i was like "I know him from instagram !!!" . And this piece was so so so beautifully written and as a fellow queet person this means a lot to me ❤️🩹❤️🩹
I'm very happy to have found your Substack. If you haven't yet, I recommend you reading the essay (which became a book) 'Whatever happened to Queer Happiness?' by Kevin Brazil. Hopefully it will give you some answers as it did me. https://granta.com/whatever-happened-to-queer-happiness/
Oh thank you so much! Let me bookmark it for when i have the time — but yes, queer joy, i recognize, is one that is just as importance within the space
this is so beautifully written about such a universal queer experience while still being so deeply personal. the privilege of choice is so lucky and important, but there is still an element of illusion to it. some of us have the privilege to choose where we live, but even then its not a free for all, we still have to think so much about if we'll be safe in the place we end up. works like this makes sure that queer experiences are well documented and not erased like in the past, great work <3
aw thanks zander for taking the time to read, digest, and share your thoughts -- no you are 100% correct. none of us are free until all of us are free, and this goes beyond discussions on queerness as well.
esje, what a beautifully written post, filled with hope, despite tragedy, despite pain. thank you for posting
🥹 thank you so much emma!
I’m from Malaysia and I get what you mean, Esje. This country is so conservative and it’s controlled by anti-queer folks. I mean this sincerely, I’m glad you chose Bangkok.
That breaks my heart and i’ve heard from personal stories as well as seen in many forms of media how difficult it can be.
i cried reading this.
🥹 thanks for always taking the time to read and absorb the text
So beautifully written and that picture at the end brought me to tears, I didn’t even know that website was a thing
Thank you so much, and yes! I discovered it around Pride Month this year and the Palestinian comments especially broke my heart.
love reading your piece, I feel you especially when you talk about hurt and tenderness in this journey
Thank you for taking the time out of your day to read this and share your thoughts!
This is beautifully written and I resonated with every you've said.
Thank you!
I don’t find you odd (queer) at all. I’m certain my brother would love your Substack, but sadly, he’s lost himself once again in another love of his life.
I deeply resonate on this🥹. I am a closeted queer. But I deeply resonate on being in the privilege side. I have been raised well, I havent experience intensive bullying because of my feminine behavior, I have many friends and support system, I am able to pursue my dream degree program, etc. But as you said, I have not have it easier. I sometimes fantasize of a life freed from shame. To be able to say to my parents and loved ones who I really am. I do experience grief but my queerness also helps me to become innovative and strive for a life more than what my community sets for my identity. To be able to go far away, to a place that can accept who I am…
Thank you for this esje✨🫶
ah this breaks my heart but i’m glad to hear you have pockets of joy that are yours. there’s so many layers of complexity to the queer experience and being able to live your true, out self — so i wouldnt want to tell you what to do, but i hope you continue to find areas that bring you much comfort and allow you to experience life the way you want to 🥹 thank you as well for your kind words!
oh esje, you have done it again. This one hits home. thank you for writing this so well x
this one means a lot to me so im glad you appreciate it. thank you so much 🥹
Randomly came across this piece and when i saw the profile i was like "I know him from instagram !!!" . And this piece was so so so beautifully written and as a fellow queet person this means a lot to me ❤️🩹❤️🩹
aw this is the sweetest! i'm happy to have you here and thank you for staying :) glad the piece resonated!
This made me tear up, thank you for your words <3.
thank you 🥹
oh esje this is so beautifully articulated 🤍
🥹 appreciate you !!!!
I'm very happy to have found your Substack. If you haven't yet, I recommend you reading the essay (which became a book) 'Whatever happened to Queer Happiness?' by Kevin Brazil. Hopefully it will give you some answers as it did me. https://granta.com/whatever-happened-to-queer-happiness/
Oh thank you so much! Let me bookmark it for when i have the time — but yes, queer joy, i recognize, is one that is just as importance within the space
I saw the Wong shot and couldn't help reading the whole thing. Beautiful piece.
another wong shot to come in october — this one will be a lot more special as i have it tattooed on my left arm as well 🥹
Oh yeaaaah*-*
omg esje, this is so beautifully written. thank you for sharing this.💌