going home

you've got mail, part 1

Jan 12, 2025

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‘You’ve got mail’ — a(n attempted) revival of my weekly journal of life musings and media recap in an attempt to remember my life in detail. I hope you find something of value here. Take what you need, and leave the rest.

Feel free to write back on your own musings and media highlights. I hope you do.

History lesson before we start this week’s mail between the years 2022 and 2023, one of my favorite time of the week is my Sunday bookstagram weekly journal where I reflect on the past week — whether it be the week’s events, or just a thought that has stayed with me, along with the media I consumed in parallel. It was a beautiful way to catch up with friends and people in the community, as well as to simply remember life.

Alas, life got busy and I slowly became less disciplined in doing it until I just completely abandoned it.

This is my attempt to bring it back, together with the sweet push of people on bookstagram (I adore you, my dearest friends).

Informal, casual, and just friends catching up — here is this week’s mail!

part i. musings

I can feel myself thawing out as I re-adjust to my daily routine in Bangkok after more than two weeks out of the country, during my favorite season of the year (….it might also be because I came from a city with temperatures going down to more than -25C / -13F every single day).

It dawned on me during my taxi ride heading to Suvarnabhumi Airport that everytime I leave Bangkok, there’s always a hint of “ah, I’ll miss this for a few weeks”.

I give the city a lot of pressure that “I don’t think I could ever really call this place “home”, and yet I think it already is.

Home, I understand, does not have to be a physical place but also in the form of people. But in this case, it is a long-time yearning for a vessel that can house the very people that feel like home. Byproduct of how unhomely Manila felt to me, as a city, that made it a barrier to living my life and making it feel like home.

There seem to be a subconscious bias I’ve been holding onto that wherever “home” is, or will be, can only be one, single place. I forget that it doesn’t have to be.

I place such high expectations and standards on what I hope to call “home” on a longer term that I miss out on what is such a good city to be able to live my 20s, a beautiful everyday life that I already get to experience.

It doesn’t tick off every single box. But I have to remind myself that it doesn’t have to.

I’m writing this on January 12, the day starting off at 18C and reaching a maximum of 26C, a rarity in Bangkok, a topic in almost every conversation and group chat for how pleasant it makes this beautiful vessel that holds our days.

Less than week since I got home, dealing with the bittersweet feeling of ending what was a a trip of a lifetime, during my favorite season— I rode three GrabBikes (Uber for Motorcycles) to go bouldering for the first time in a month, to grab brunch with my friends, and to spend an afternoon doing some reading and writing— the thought comes back to me. I am well, and truly home.

What a privilege to be able to hold the sadness from leaving, and the joy from coming home at the same time.

Against my will, it’s time to defrost and become a functioning human again.

(Was I ever one?)

part ii. media highlights

Books: (goodreads)

I have finally ended my almost three month long reading slump.

Winter by Ali Smith — poetic that the book to end my three-month long slump, and the first book I finish in 2025 is titled after my favorite season— one I consider both a hibernation and awakening. This marks the end of my seasonal quartet reading experience. Ali Smith, brilliant as she always is, brings much warmth in the intimacy of her stories, and the urgency of her politics.
The Comfort of Strangers by Ian McEwan — three-fourths through as I am writing this, and planning on finishing in the coming day. Intriguing enough for me to continue but not really anywhere close to being a book I love. I shall report back a week from now.

There have been plenty of attempts in the past months to end this slump, but these are the books that have gotten me back (or at least, almost).

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Movies and TV Shows: (letterboxd)

Interstellar — 10th year anniversary screening in IMAX was one of the best decisions of my week, I haven’t seen the movie in almost 5 years and have more or less forgotten the key details about the movie which was a great place to be heading into this.
Scream VI — more of a background movie as I do some of my excel work that doesn’t need much of my thinking. A lot of fun, I need Netflix to add the rest of the franchise.
Nine Perfect Strangers — watched three episodes, once again as a background to other things (it’s not the best habit, I know) but intriguing enough. Still wondering where it’s headed though it’s starting to go into confusing territory — will stick in for maybe two more episodes then decide if i’ll continue on.

Music: (spotify)

I am reviving the playlist and have updated it with the music I have been listening to obsessively in the last few weeks, especially during my trip!

Imagine it as a sort of background to daily life, as someone who is incapable of going out of my house without any audio stimulation.

Lastly,

I have not been tracking the podcasts i’ve been listening to and articles i’ve been reading but will try to add them over here in the following weekly journals, if that interests you!

Some photos from the past week: